Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
