I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
