Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
