You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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