Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
