my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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