the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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