so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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