Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
