It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
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Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
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I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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