when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We're too hungover to prance.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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