Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
