I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize