hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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