I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
