Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
