Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
