now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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