I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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