I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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