I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
