I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
