Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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