I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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