Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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