Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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