Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
try to milk me bitch
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
