I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm like, not good at living.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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