They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
