Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
