Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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