Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
one might say we're banned from that church
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
