CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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