If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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