I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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