I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
