I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize