oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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