these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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