Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.