it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....