god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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