So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
