I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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