So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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