at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
