I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize