the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
