Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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