this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
