I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize