the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
