The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
