I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
