New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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