the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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