Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
