I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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